Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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