that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
did i just pee glitter
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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