i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
