she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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