dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
