You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
