What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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