you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
