i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
