Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Randomize
