i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
