i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
