i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
