You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
