that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
