I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
