Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
