No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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