I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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