maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
