Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
