I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
