break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Randomize
