ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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