after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
