Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
