he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
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