We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
