I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
