Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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