I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
