come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
