From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
