At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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