It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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