for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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