Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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