"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
