idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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