Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
