Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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