she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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