Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
