would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I want her autograph on my taint
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
