Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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