he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
