idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
