Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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