You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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