Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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